Who's Kid is This?!?!

Your walking up the cereal isle at your the grocery store of your choice, minding your own business looking for the Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Quietly you are being a good shopper and seeing just how many pennies an ounce you save on the big box verses the small. It never fails that then, while you are deep in thought, someone stops beside you with the their four year old strapped to the seat of the buggy. It is never just a normal four year old is it? NO, it is always the four year old of terror, with the loudest lungs ever given to a child and he or she is using them in all their glory! "I WANT THE ONE WITH A TOY!!!!!," screams the little ankle biter. You turn and expect to see the mom or dad being the parent they should be and smack the little one and teach them to be respectful, however that's not how it happens is it? Instead mom or dad just does not have the energy in them to give the child what he or she deserves, instead they give them EXACTLY what they do not deserve...the cereal of choice.

They next day you are walking in the Supercenter and you pass the toy isle. In the middle of the floor is little Johnny, lying in the floor, acting like a kid that is well on his way to becoming one of life's greatest screw ups. "I WANT THE GAME!!!," he screams. Dad being the dad he should be (sarcasm) does not want to cause a scene (or doesn't care) and simply gives Johnny the game.

Now as you read this everyone is thinking, "what's this guy's problem" however, everyone also had a memory pop in your mind very clearly of an instance like this. Maybe even your own kid.

This post is not to bash parents or their children. It is to simply make a point. How many of us have found ourselves standing in the DVD section, the new clothes section, the hunting or fishing store, or looking at that beautiful new purse, and all of a sudden the kid we described shows up. No not in person, but inside of us. WE start screaming and pitching a fit in the floor of our mind. We work hard, we watch every penny, and then the nail in the coffin statement, "I deserve this."

Honestly, many of us do work hard, watch every penny and do deserve the item, however we do not deserve the struggle that comes with impulse buys. Impulse purchases are the reason so many of us are so deep in the debt pit. Americans have thousands of dollars in credit card debt and most of us have no idea where from where it came. As we continue this fight to solve the problem of having Too Much Month, this is the single most important area we must over come. We must concur. We must defeat and kill.

I actually get to write this tonight with a touch of pride. Tonight my wife was so excited about getting to get the Black Friday ads and map our where we need to go to purchase gifts. Before we would have just went around blindly spending money on every "good deal." I challenge each of you and myself to gain this discipline. Fight the urge to impulse. Keep the fight to win and never again have Too Much Month!!!

WHERE TO START?

My story is simple from the outside looking inward. Kid grows up in a great family, family teaches kid all core values which include living on less than you make, kid grows up and ignores these teachings. That part of my story may be different than yours. The inward looking out part of my story is most likely very similar to most of yours; so let's give it a try. Kid grows up in a family that has a good home, good car, gets to go out and enjoy life. Kid then grows up and is on their own and wants to maintain the same life. Kid acts like a kid and gets the same life... at a price. To get these things the kid has to sell his or her soul. You may be thinking that is a little drastic. I don't. Seeing first hand through myself and my former job I have seen "kids" come into the bank in horrible financial shape asking for even more. They were willing to sell their souls for just a small loan to buy some new stupid toy. Then the banks, maybe because they have such a soft heart for kids wanting toys, would look at their "I love debt score" (thanks for the quote Dave Ramsey), ask for proof of income... sometimes (keep in mind many times people would go to the local office supply store and create a fake pay stub), then give them a check to do as they stinking please. I'll let you decide who to blame here. I personally decided for a long time to blame the bank.

Zig Ziglar is one of my all time favorite people and authors. I listened to a lot of Zig's lessons on CD as I tried to motivate myself to make more and more money to make the payments on all my junk. I remember hearing Zig as he talked about writing his first book. In that book he wrote he had lost a lot of weight. The only problem was that he hadn't. Zig had a living room full of books to sell that told the world how much weight he lost. Zig used this as self motivation to lose weight and sell the books.

Upon listening to what Zig was saying I had something click that really woke me up. Zig realized the only person responsible for his situation was Zig. The only person responsible for my situation was Trey. The only person responsible for your situation is you. Now before you jump down my throat and tell me all the things that have gone wrong (and I do know that many of you have had things happen that truly weren't your fault) let me explain. The only person that truly can make a life changing difference to your life is you. People can help, people can instruct, people can walk with you every step of the way. However, the only person that can make it happen is yourself.

When it comes to finances, there isn't an "undo" button in life. Sure we can sell our toys, our house, and other things but odds are we can not get everything back. What we can do is realize that only you can make a difference. To make a difference we must start with ourselves. Start with our actions, our beliefs, and our knowledge.

Many times you have heard me talk about knowledge. That is were it starts. It starts with us wanting to change and searching for the resources to gain the knowledge to do this. If we truly are tired of the loose ends, the stress, the sickening feeling of having too much month at the end of our money, we must teach ourselves to change. Teach ourselves how things really need to be and how they work. We must teach ourselves to win.

Thanks

What would you do?

I am a member of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover website. On one of the forums the question, "what would you do with x amount of money?" is ask often. This question has gone through all of our minds many times, even when we do not realize.
I believe money is one thing people are around the most that they have the least amount of knowledge about. Think about it this way...The average income in the US today is between 45-50k. After 5 years the average family has over $200,000 come through their hands. Even with that amount of dough coming through our tightly bound checking accounts we still have a LARGE level of ignorance when it comes to money.
I do not say these things to irritate you however to bring awareness of what is truly happening. I understand not everyone makes $50k a year but the point remains the same. So here is my question. If someone came up and gave you $200,000 what would you do with the money?
I write this claiming to have a good idea of finances (I better!) However, I must admit this is a question that puzzles me often. Think it over. Think of the things that can be done with that much $. You could buy a home, buy a car, invest, give it away, anything you want. What would you do?

Thanks,

I DIDN'T KNOW!!!

As humans no matter the situation we always feel as if we can fall back on one answer that will never fail us, "I DIDN'T KNOW!!!" Think about it, as a kid we could do something wrong and as one parent was about to lay into us, the other would say, "Oh they didn't know any better." I found out while working at "Walk-all-over-ya" that believe it or not, some people really don't know. Of course on this blog I am talking about them not knowing about finances. I was amazed by the number of people that did not know they needed money to open a checking account. I was amazed by the number of people who had checking accounts and DID NOT KNOW HOW THEY OPERATE! People with mortgages who did not have any idea how the interest on them worked. Customers who were ok paying on their car for the next 7 YEARS! Credit cards with 30% rates, AND THEY STILL USED THEM!

As I left the state of shock and began to ask questions I realized something, people really did not know. They did not know because they did not ask and they did not ask because they did not know. I look back to my childhood and this is a conversation that took place often:

Me: Mom I want this.

Mom: We don't have the money.

Me: Then write a check.

Mom: I wish it worked that way.

WORKED WHAT WAY??? WHAT IS THE BIG SECRET?! Now let me say this before I am kicked out of the family. I grew up in a family that both worked in the financial industry and were very conscious when it came to finances. They took every opportunity they could to teach me how money and finances worked. However, for a lot of families the operation of finances seems to be this big secret.

Here is my question to those who did not learn about finances at home. Where did you learn about them? Here is what I am discovering...

Most of our schools teach you how to discover the molecular make up of any object in the universe but THEY DO NOT TEACH YOU HOW TO BALANCE A CHECK BOOK! GET REAL!

In college unless YOU decide to take a business course, you will not be taught anything about finances.

After college you're on your own. So who is teaching a large portion of Americans how to handle their finances? It's easy, here's the answer.

The car dealer teaches us how to buy a car.

The mortgage lender and real estate agent teaches us how to purchase a home.

Visa taught us to use credit cards.

Banks taught us how to use checking accounts AFTER YOU OVERDRAFT!

DOES THIS MAKE SENSE? COME ON!

Let me let you in on a secret. BANKS DO NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART. THEY ARE NOT NON PROFIT! I worked for one that claimed on every marketing add available that they were number one in customer service yet turned around and said AND I QUOTE "give ever credit worthy customer a credit card, car loan, mortgage, and equity line." Here's a thought Mr. Bank NOT EVERY CUSTOMER NEEDS ALL OF YOUR JUNK! There comes a time when we have to educate ourselves. We must want to learn so that we know what we are getting into. We must educate ourselves instead of relying on the wrong ones to educate us. We must do these this before we have "Too Much Month."

Thanks

Becoming Aware

The fear of the unknown is paralyzing. The flip side of that is it can mistakenly be liberating. Here is an example. Some that go to by a new vehicle or home have no idea what to look at or expect. The unknown for some will cause them to miss deals, stay awake at night, panic, and for lack of better terms, they are paralyzed. The unknown for others allows them to go look at many houses, never think about if it is a deal or not, stay awake because of the excitement of a big new home or high dollar vehicle and is liberating due to ignorance. Ignorance is bliss isn't it! SO, the question is this, "how do I stay out of these two categories?" I had to get to the point where I was sick of losing. I was sick of getting stuck in the bad deals. I was sick of not getting ahead. My question is this, what will it take for you to get tired of fear; to get tired of the unknown? The book "Too Much Month" will not take away the unknown, however it will inspire you to never float through, worrying about the unknown. It is time for us as consumers to start asking questions. It is time to start winning.





Thanks.

Too Much Month!

Tell me if this is you and your month...

1st PAY DAY!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!!

5th Wearing the new clothes or enjoying the new toy you bought on the 1st.

10th Starting to slow down and thinking "OK, I need to be smart so I can make it 20 more days."

20th If I just eat one meal per day I can make it until the end of the month

27th I GIVE UP....THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH MONTH AT THE END OF MY MONEY!



Truth is, I have just described most of our months. To add to this truth, the few times we feel like reaching out for help, help stands there in the form of something to complex to get excited about. See if these look like the forms of help you have seen:

Buy my DVD for three payments of $99 and you will be a real estate guru or...

I owed the IRS $100,000,000 and Billy Bob Lawyer settled it for .01 on the dollar (maybe I should just not pay taxes!) or...

This is my favorite: "Go see an Advisor they will set everything up for you!"

Here is my answer: "GET REAL!!! If I had the money for these things, would I have Too Much Month?!?!"



WE feel as if we have the weight of the world on our shoulders and we can not talk about it with anyone. Sometimes we just want to vent to those close to us without them feeling like they need to give all the answers. Other times we want answers, however we feel hopeless because we can not fully let someone see what we are going through, therefore we get wasted air in return.



Something tells me that I am not the only one that has felt this way and that many more are fighting this battle every day. I do not have all the solutions on how to not feel this way, however I do see the cry out for help. Over the coming months I invite you to follow me as I write, "Too Much Month."


On this blog I will give updates on the data collected for the book, stories that will give you hope as you try to reverse the trend of having to much month, websites and tools to help you work through the month, and most importantly keep you updated on the book, "Too Much Month."



It is a hard fight that most people go through. I look forward to our fight and hope you find this site as a tool for your success.



Thanks.